2-3 years ago is when I started trying to do serious journaling because I sort of knew I wanted to be a writer and I also thought it was just a good practice as a human being. I was horrible at it and also kind of young and stupid. You know how it is.
I got this journal from my sister for my 14th birthday a couple years ago. It was a Stranger Things journal. I was like “Nice, this will be my first real journal,” but I assure you, it was not successful. I didn’t write in it very often and when I did it was rather unfortunate. The whole young and stupid thing just really got me. I wrote in that journal over the course of 10 months and I only got through about 10% of the few pages in it. That was my first attempt. Before I even finished that one I started a new one because my growth process kicked in, so by the time I was slightly less young and stupid, notice I say slightly, I had not finished it so I could look and see how young and stupid I had been and it just put me off. It was not very encouraging.
Unfortunately, I never dated any of my entries in journal #2. I finished about 80% of it, which was a huge improvement, but journal #3 was the first one that I really finished. I wrote in that one from July of 2019 to February of 2020 and filled up all the pages.
The first time I was really successful was during my Sophomore year, which just ended. I got a journal from Michaels which would become journal #3 but it would also be dubbed “Volume I” because it was the first journal that I felt I was completely proud of. By that point I was really trying and I was serious about it. I filled it up all the way in a relatively short period of three months. I was doing really well because I had developed a voice that I trusted and admired rather than looked down upon. I would write after school. I found that when I was busier I would do better at writing which applies to me with most things.
Toward the end of the year I started bringing Volume I to school and I would write on Friday mornings, sitting on the floor in the library. It really took off and I started to love my journal. Loving your journal is really important, it turns out, in the whole process. Really, even as my life was not necessarily better than it was before, I was sorting myself out and understanding and accepting myself more and my journaling got a whole lot better.
After I finished it this month I bought two more journals just like that one online and started on Volume two. I’ve now finished about 20% of Volume two. It’s going really well and I’m finding that starting this new journal has kicked off a new era with new themes and new wisdom. There was an increased understanding of what I was doing with the journal thing and what my goals needed to be. A main theme in Volume two has been a new level of self acceptance. That’s pretty much where I’m at right now.
Looking at the whole progression, I was absolutely horrible at journaling in the beginning but I kept trying. Even if I wasn’t trying hard enough to actually succeed at the time, I kept growing and growing and getting more comfortable with it and getting more comfortable with writing things on the pages that I wouldn’t say out loud and that really pushed me forward. We all know it: keep trying and success will come, but another lesson learned is that sometimes what can help you succeed with journaling is learning more about yourself, not through the journaling process necessarily but just in life, because what you’re writing down is you and if you don’t like yourself you won’t like what you write in your journal. Becoming more comfortable with the person whose soul you’re pouring onto the page is a big help.
Eventually, writing in my journal became a habit for me, something that I loved to do, which was an escape and a comfort, especially during times when I was really stressed or sad and that’s when it really became a part of me instead of a rather unfortunate attempt.
#1: May 2018 – March 2019, 10% complete
#2: not dated, 80% complete
#3: July 2019 – February 2020, 100% complete
#4: February 2020 – May 2020, 100% complete
#5: May 2020 and counting, currently 20% complete
Intermediately Versed 